The myth

I recently had a friend who used to be a a member of our church tell me how surprised she was find out that I had family members who were like her, and not practicing the Mormon faith anymore.  I asked her why she found that surprising and she said that when she went to church (she joined as an adult) she just assumed that everyone led these perfect lives and had these perfect families and no one ever did anything wrong.  This perception made her feel bad about herself and her own life and made her feel like an outsider. That she would never measure up, and so she stopped coming.

I assured her that my family situation was indeed more the rule than the exception.  In fact, the only family I know that does have a passel of spit polished and shiny children are my in-laws.  Now that said, they are a rowdy and weird bunch and are the first to admit to being a little more than strange.  Heaven help anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck next to a cabin with us in Yellowstone!

So the myth that I am disputing is that you have to be perfect to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

You don't.  In fact none of us are.  If we were, we sure wouldn't need church. Sure we look perfect on Sunday.  Our boys in suits. Bows in our girls hair. Women in dresses on the arm of a husband in the latest suit from JC Penny's... But for me that perfect look is not to put on airs or to show off, it is to out of respect and reverence for the Lord and for the Sabbath that I dress up.  I finally understand why my dad wouldn't let me wear a denim skirt to church or why flip flops are not appropriate footwear.  We dress our best out of respect and love for our Heavenly Father.  Case closed.

But that love for our Heavenly Father is returned to us ever so much more.  He gave us a Savior who takes our imperfections and makes us whole.  Through Jesus Christ we are given hope and love and such a bright outlook on all of eternity that we positively glow with it, thus making our Sunday best shine all the brighter.

General Conference...the anticipation

This weekend marks the 180th Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. When I was a kid this weekend meant sitting in a dark chapel while we watched the speakers broadcast via satellite to us in New York.   They were painfully boring weekends where we had to get dressed for church even though none of my classes were held that day in lieu of the world wide broadcast.  It was dark and hard to see my crayons as I sat at my mothers feet trying to draw and keep from dying from boredom.

When I went to BYU I was faced with my first conference weekend in Utah.   The internet was in its baby stages (BYU didn't even have its own e-mail accounts back then) and it never occured to me that  we could watch it on TV in our own homes (or packed around the dorm room television or plugged into the local radio station). So I got dressed and walked down 9th East to the church building and sat in a dark chapel with about 3 other people.

I wondered where everyone was.

Turns out they were in packed around TVs all over campus.

I was better prepared next time.

Later as a newly married couple we were in Delaware for our first General Conference together.  No TV, no radio out there and the Internet still a baby, I showed JaDee the art of getting dressed for church to sit in a dark chapel (they always listened to it on the radio in WY).  Our ward did a massive potluck in between the morning and afternoon session and it was a great weekend.

Then even later still and back in UT I grew accustomed to rolling out of bed at 9:45 and wrapping up in a blanket to watch the 2 Sunday sessions in our home on local KSL channel 5.  Saturday sessions were heard in the car on the way to soccer, or while I was painting a bedroom or while we cleaned out the garden and the garage.   October Conference is when we always dug up the tomato plants whether they were ready or not.  It was time to winterize!

Now in Alaska and the age of Dish network and the Internet, we can still get conference in our home.  Our first conference here the website was so jammed we couldn't get it but we logged on to radio KSL and listened.  The last conference we had Internet connections for every session and it was just like being back in UT tucked under a blanket on my couch.

I kind of miss the old days in the dark chapel.  The thought of recreating it for my kids and taking them to our own local chapel (which always broadcasts the event for anyone who cares to wander in) makes me a little ill.   I mean, look how easy it is to just stay home in our jammies and unwashed hair to listen to the voice of our prophet and apostles?  Why would I make more work for myself and drag them in our Sunday best to the church?

I guess I really appreciate all the hard work it was for my parents to get all 5 of us to each and every conference growing up.  Little tote bags packed with crayons, snacks and paper.   Countless trips to drinking fountains and bathrooms to break up the monotony for little bottoms, older siblings being separated with a parent in between, and even better when I, as the oldest, could take either Courtney or Stephen, as babies, out to the hall to walk around, get drinks and explore dark classrooms and the stage in the gym. I remember when Ben and I used to fight over the job to do that!  Thank goodness there were 2 of them!

The bottom line is my parents taught me that General Conference was important.  They taught me slowly and patiently that it was important.  They taught it to me so that when I was on my own and faced with the choice to watch or not that I chose to go.

Now I have to figure out how to show my children that this is important for them.

Happy Conference!

PS- if you have BYU TV on your dish network plan you can watch conference at 10 AM and 2 PM Mountain Standard Time.

PPS- we always have cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning.  Thanks Linda for the great recipe!  It is now in our family!

is anyone else bugged by this?

I sat down to Oprah the other day. I used to be a faithful Oprah fan. Read her book club books (and wondered why I did when I was finished with one); got her magazine (you know the ones with only her on the cover) and followed her advice in fashion, shoes, psycho-babble and a-ha moments. Not all bad (except some of her books but I did discover Christopher Bojhalian from one of her choices and I love him).

Then she got full of herself and started in with the celebrities and it started a disconnect with me. So needless to say it has seriously been a couple of years since I sat down to an episode.

At first I thought I had stumbled on a Jerry Springer show. Except that since the "guest" was the daughter of a celebrity rock star from the Momma's and the Poppa's and thus, a celebrity herself. Therefore it makes what she revealed, "Oprah worthy."

I'm sure you heard about it. The incest? Google Mackenzie Phillips if you didn't but be prepared. It made me sick.

And again a little worried that I was on Jerry's show. But no the host was indeed, an African American woman. So why did Oprah have her on?

First, I have come to the very late-in-life conclusion that most guests on talk shows do it as publicity. Their PR people arrange it with Oprah/Ellen/Conan/Jay to have them on to push their latest movie/book/album/TV show. Then to provide a shocking little tidbit only helps both parties involved with ratings/sales.

Second, Mackenzie said she wanted to put a face on this. That surely she is not the only person who has gone through this. And you know, I don't doubt it. I am sure she is not the only one out there. But good gravy, why did it seem so glorified by her interview with Oprah?

This morning at the gym The View was on and I was reading the subtitles as I listened to my various artists on my running track. I could write a whole other post about this show, but I digress. As they, too, hashed out the details of Mackenzie Phillips I thought how lucky I was to come from a relatively normal, albeit slightly (in comparison) dysfunctional family. And to be able to raise my kids in a normal albeit, slightly dysfunctional family;)

How many times as a kid did I wish to be part of that famous set? How many times did I wonder what it must be like to have a famous mom or dad and gobs of money at my disposal; never having to wear hand me downs from cousins, or gasp! have my mom make my lunch in a brown paper sack. How many times did I wish the boys in Teen Beat and Bop were my boyfriends as I pinned up their faces on my wall.

Yesterday I was grateful. That I have the truth in my life. That I have the knowledge of the gospel and the important roles of parents in my life and in the lives of my children.

To sum it up, a few lines from this year's Primary Program song has been hummed by my daughter the past few weeks:

God gave us families!
To help us become what he wants us to be.
This is how he shares his love,
For the family is of God!