living past the speed limit

Me and my grandmother at the Alaska Sea Life Center

I used to always say I didn't want to live past the age of whatever the speed limit was. This was back when I was young and naive and the speed limit on the New York State Thruway was 55. Slowly, however, states started raising those speed limits. And then Montana lifted their speed limit and let it be judged as "reasonable and prudent."

Apparently some people's idea of reasonable is different from another's so Montana put the speed limit signs back up.

But I digress. The point of my making this statement was I didn't want to get old and decrepit. I didn't want to lose my teeth, my sanity, my bowels... I wanted to get out while the getting was good. Die legendary and beautiful like Marilyn Monroe or James Deane.

Now I see that 55 is way too young to die and I am happy to see 75 is most states speed limits but I think I have heard rumors that Montana has 80 mph speed limits. And I regularly drive that fast in a 65 (shhhh!) so I have come to agreement that 80 is a good time to go.

Part of this affirmation of my "speed limit" on age has come from watching mine and JaDee's grandparents live past 80. Currently we have 84, 85, 86, 86, and 90 alive and kicking. But while they are still important to us these wonderful men and women are mere shadows, it seems, of their former selves.

There is depression, diabetes, arthritis that you can't even get out of bed with, dementia that is frustrating, blood pressure pills, pacemakers, and nosebleeds that won't quit.

Not to mention how set in their ways they all are. A remote control for the television may as well be a teleporter to the moon. Most of them won't eat fish; one only eats hamburgers. They all worry incessantly about the littlest things like getting their hair done on the right day, the beans in the ground too early (or too late), the great-grand kids jumping on the trampoline/eating too much ice cream/sleeping too long.

But we love them dearly, don't get me wrong. I love my own grandmother tremendously. We can still talk for hours about cooking, gardening, organizing and decorating. She loves life and was thrilled with her trip to Alaska. I am so glad I got to share this beautiful state with her and have her spend 10 days in my home. I got to care for her in the way that she cared for me all of my visits to her house as a girl.

I got to care for her almost like one of my own children.

I wished with all my heart that she was close enough that I could care for her every day.

She misses my grandpa, who has been gone almost 12 years now, and I know she aches for him. Part of me wants to let her go and let her poor body rest. To let her mind, that she is desperately hanging onto, relax about all the little things that make daily life so hard at this age.

And a huge part of me will be crushed the day I get that call. For part of getting old is touching the lives of our loved ones. Even though she didn't raise me, my grandmother is a huge part of who I am. Her unconditional love has always been constant and a rock for me. Her testimony in the gospel is unshakable. Her example has spoken to me louder than any etiquette lesson, finishing school, Sunday school class, or recycling seminar (that woman re-uses EVERYTHING)!! She has taught me how to make pie crust, can jam, match accessories, wash tin foil and plant the most beautiful garden.

I guess it scares me to think that I will end up that afraid of (or unable to understand?) new things in life. Or forget how fast and fun life is. Or not be able to keep up any more. Or lose my mind to the point that i am afraid there is a conspiracy poisoning the water to my home (don't laugh, one grandmother's dementia has gotten that bad).

Most importantly, my pre-meditated weariness for this life has to do with the testimony I have of our Heavenly Father's plan. I know I will live with my family again. I know that when I die, I will wait to be reunited with my loved ones left behind.

I know we can be together forever.

Some things...

...that annoy me:

*my phone service: is an internet based company called clearwire. We pay $50 for high speed internet, and phone service that includes everything from caller ID to long distance to the moon. Well about 3 weeks ago we started having problems. It would ring, give me the ID as to who was calling, but when I answered, no one could hear me. We would think it was fixed and then it wouldn't work. Right now we think it is fixed. But if you call me and get nothing, try my cell.

*clouds. You know the dark days of winter don't bother me but I could sure use some cloudless days right about now. I feel like I live in Seattle.

*lightbulbs that last like 2 weeks. Seriously. I hate GE and their plan to take over the world by telling us that $7 lightbulbs will stop global warming. I had Carter re-fill all our burned out bulbs before my dad came June 12 and now 2 of them are out in my bathroom. Again.

*finding a great sale at the Gap and Banana Republic but finding absolutely nothing that I wanted.

*and finally mosquitoes. We went to a great place to find fossils with a bunch of cubscouts and their families. After my 44 oz diet Pepsi (otherwise known as sweet nectar of the gods) on the drive up, I really had to use the facilities of the woods. So off I trekked with my secret stash of toilet paper that I keep in the car for just such occasions. While bent over in the woods I was madly brushing off those little pests from mine and Olivia's faces when I suddenly realized [too late] the huge expanse of white exposed flesh I was neglecting in my backside.

"Mom!" Olivia cried. "You have a million mosquitoes on your bum!"

And now I have a million bites there too.

wish you were here

This group of islands has a name but I forgot what it was. But definitely one of those moments where I could not believe I LIVE HERE!!

We had my dad, his wife Carol, her son Matt, and my Grandma up from Arkansas the past 10 days. We ran them ragged and had a wonderful visit with some pretty amazing things to keep us occupied. Over and over again throughout the week they were here, I kept saying to myself, "i can't believe I LIVE here!"

Check out some of these pictures and you will see what I mean.

PS-All of these were taken by my dad. I have turned into a horrible photographer lately.

It was so awesome to have family here. Grandma was glad to see where I lived and said she did not worry so much now that she knows where I am (in a real live town and not is some ice cave some where).

We saw Stellar Sea Lions, Orcas, Humpbacks, Puffins and sea otters on our Kenai Fjords tour of Resurrection Bay.

Check out this awesome channel from the Alaska Sea Life Center that shows live action of the Stellar Sea Lions. They even have it as a local channel on cable in Seward. I saw one give birth while I was watching it in our hotel that night.

A real live killer whale in Resurrection Bay. I have now completed one of my 100 goals in life, that is, I saw a whale. This little guy was with a whole pod so we saw 7, including his old Dad.

What have we here! One of the 3 humpback whales we saw on the same day.!

This was moose #77 for my year and a half I have been in Alaska. Look for a give away when I reach 100 moose sitings on the moose counter!

Me, my dad and Olivia in front of Mt. McKinley in the background (it is really hard to see in the bright white with all of its snow).

Carter, Matthew, Me, Olivia, Ethan, Carol, Dad, and Grandma. At 84 she was having the time of her life. We kept a slower than usual Moncur pace for her and managed to see it all.

Including this Dall Sheep! He was right above our bus in Denali National Park. We saw 5 grizzlies, a black bear, 5 moose, sheep, eagles and A WOLF!!

Turnagain Arm from Beluga Point. Some of us saw these whales too.

The dogs of Denali National Park. They still use the dogsled teams to get around all winter here. These guys were cool.

Now its your turn! Call and make your reservations with us anytime!

This takes the cake...or at least my seat.

I have company coming on Saturday. My dad, his wife, my stepbrother, and my grandmother are coming for 10 days! I am quite excited. But that is not what this post is about.

Nor is it about being a Cub Scout leader during Day Camp WEEK and the chore it is to keep everybody with a ride, a medical form, a meal bracelet, and a T-shirt.

And it isn't even about getting Carter and JaDee off to a remote army barracks on the Kenai Peninsula that is only accessible when the tide is out- otherwise you better have a kayak or a helicopter. Apparently it has tunnels and passageways that make it THE spot for capture the flag.

No, this post is about the most unbelievable thing that happened to me at the movies tonight.

A new Regal Cinemas 16 plus IMAX theater opened up this week. It is a huge deal for Anchorage (and really Alaska) since this is the first IMAX in the state. I know! We are really almost an industrialized nation now...All week different charities were highlighted to host the movies for $2 a ticket. Granted they were all movies that were already on DVD but what a great way to support a good cause and check out the new hot spot in town.

I took Ethan and Olivia and my friend *L*. *L* is my sweet friend who has faced a number of challenges with her disabilities but still keeps trucking through life with a smile on her face. We go to lunch, farm on Facebook, and talk on the phone about important things like the new Miley Cyrus song and her dislike of mustard. She has the most giving heart and smuggled in great treats for us!

Anyway, everyone in Anchorage also thought checking out Regal for $2 sounded like a good idea too, so we were sitting pretty close to the front in our stadium style plush seats with retractable armrests and dual cup-holders when Olivia had to go to the bathroom.

It took awhile since we assessed the hideously long popcorn line on the way. I left *L* and Ethan and my purse to guard our 2 empty seats.

When I came back, there was only 1 empty seat.

I asked *L* what happened and she said the lady wouldn't budge.

So I leaned next to me and said to the seat stealer, "Um excuse me, we had these 2 seats here."

"Well there was no one here when I sat down."

"No. We were in the bathroom and my friend here was saving them for us with my purse."

"Why don't you go sit up front if you don't like it."

"No. We were here first. How about you sit up front since we were here first."

"Well I paid for this seat-

"Um (this is a sarcastic-snotty UM not a polite-excuse-me-please UM) we paid for our seats two seats as well so I think I have every right to let my daughter have her seat back." (this was one of those times that I wished Olivia was pitching a fit. She can be pretty formidable and usually can muscle her own way out of anyone).

"When I got here there was no one here so you put your daughter on your lap or move up front."

"No. You put your child on your lap-"

"This is not my child."

(what did you rent her? Cause I'm not sure anyone actually leaves their child with a- ahem- nice lady like you by choice).

"Whatever, put her on your lap. We were here first!"

"You're disturbing the movie. If you want a seat, move."

I shut up. and fumed and tried to think of a thousand things I could have said. I came up with nothing.

I did go back and get popcorn and drinks (also $2 each, but no diet Pepsi, drat) and tracked down a manager and told her what happened. She offered to take me to guest services and comp me for my seat, but seriously, it was only two bucks and it was money towards charity anyway. So I asked instead what to do when I am paying $10 a seat that is going to the Almighty Powers of Fandago, instead. She told me in the future, to come get a manager to escort the perp out. (OK she might not have used the word perp)

I fantasized about dropping my drink on her when I returned. But I had laid on the sweetness so thick with the manager about how I was shocked that stuff like seat-stealing could even happen in the world, that I was feeling better when I got back. I made a big show instead about being so disgustingly nice to my kids, my friend, and almost offered my adversary some popcorn at one point.

All the while running a new fantasy through my head. The one where I get to be part of her judgement council at the Pearly Gates and get to slam them shut on her.

And then when it got to the Underworld part in the Percy Jackson movie we were watching, I almost leaned over and whispered, "Better pick your spot now cause you'll be burning there a long time, sweetheart."

And knowing I would blog about this I thought of the awesome title for this post.

What makes me even more mad is that she thinks she won. She shut me up. ME! I win arguments. My way with words is renowned. I argue with Carter for heavens sakes! All that sparring should have paid off.

So I am comforting myself with the illusion the that I took the high road. That I chose not stoop to her level. That my integrity (in everything but my fantasies) kept me from calling her names. But my pride was wounded. My oral arguments stunted. My track record for being a diplomat, problem solver, referee and mediator has been marred.

I will lick my wounds and be better prepared next time. I will pull out the big guns of Movie Theater Security and Regal Management. I will sic Guest Services on her and see that justice is served.

But seriously, is mankind really gotten so bad that you will steal a seat from a 4 year old, a mom, a cute Cub Scout, and a disabled adult?

Seriously?

Oh dear

I tried to post some more pictures form our Memorial Day weekend but for some reason my computer is not reading my SD card. I hope I didn't lose all of those fun pictures.

So you will have to imagine us finding starfish in Homer, sea anemone's while we were clamming in Ninilchik, Sea otters in Kachemak Bay, roasting marshmallows in the sun at 11 o'clock at night, a raft trip down the Kenai and our awesome friends.

A little about our rafting trip. Our friends have a really nice raft with a self bailing floor and inflatable bottom, oars and seats and all the things you would want to go down one of the biggest rivers in North America.

We have 2 free rafts that JaDee and a buddy fixed so that they float.

One we named the "Adventure Craft." It seats 4-6 and we ran back to the car to get the clamming buckets for bailing.

The other is named "The Amoeba" because of its wavelike, shapeless, conforming to the river currents. The Amoeba seats 8 or so. It too needed a bucket on board just in case.

So we put 4 boys in the Adventure Craft and the rest (including Champ) throughout. The Adventure Craft quickly needed snacks and had on board Doritos, root beer and Swedish fish. About two thirds of the way down our float and some rapids that were only about a class 1+, the boys got tired of paddling so Stefanie and I jumped in with Carter and let the rest of the boys on the nice big raft.

Oh and the Amoeba had a wet dog from a big slurp over a rapid dumping a ton of water on them.

Well the Adventure Craft had hit that same big rapid and capsized the Dorito bag into the bottom of the boat.

So Stef and I stepped into a veritable smorgasbord of snacks floating in the bottom. Oh it was lovely and made me grateful for my Wellies (otherwise known as irrigation boots) to keep me up out of the muck.

And then we got rammed by the nice red raft and I got dumped.

Into the Dorito water at the bottom of the boat, legs flailing as I tried to push off the soft bottom boat, Carter grabbed me and pulled me back into a sitting position. Stefanie was just sad she didn't have a camera and all of us were laughing so hard!

I only had a few Swedish fish on my bum.

All in all it was AMAZING weather and the scenery was perfect. We had a bald eagle right over hour heads (maybe he wanted some Doritos too) and no one else had a close call getting dumped.

Don't you wish you got to ride in a boat called The Adventure Craft?

Memorial Day videos

We went to Ninilchik this weekend on our 2nd Annual Memorial Day Campout with some friends. We clammed on Saturday, saw no King Salmon that were supposed to be running the river we were by, but had a great weekend with great people. Here is some video of that with more to post later on.

Kachemak Bay: read about it on Wikipedia