When to say when

I took the kids (my 3 plus the 2 boys I babysit) to the downtown library today to see the Imaginarium's reptile program. We got there with all of the other moms and several day care centers. Since one of the boys I care for is Olivia's exact age, and all of them have blond hair, I got asked more than once if Olivia and S were twins and if all 5 children were mine.

But we sat next to a lady who had a little girl about the age of D (my youngest charge) which is almost 2. Right before the program started, I looked to my left just in time to see a little girl come out from under her mom's shirt and I got a view of more than I ever wanted of the stranger next to me. Holy crap! I thought.

My amazement continued as throughout the program the little girl would grab her mom's shirt and lift it up at will to get a drink. Kind of like how Olivia would take sips of the water bottle she had with her, except not really like that at all. This went on for the entire 40 minutes we sat there learning about snakes and alligators.

But while the kids were learning about beasts that care absolutely nothing for their young beyond the laying of the egg in a sandy hole, I was contemplating my neighbor and the young one she was nurturing right in front of my very eyes. She was obviously bra-less. Trust me, I had a great view, making this lifting of the shirt thing akin to running to the water dispenser on the fridge except this one had warm milk flowing at the push of a button. Or a pull of the teet rather. The mother did nothing to aid in her daughter's getting refreshment. Mom chatted with her friend and paid attention to the program as if nothing unusual was going on.

I started to get the fidgets. Could you imagine folding laundry and having your fairly grown child run up to you, lift your shirt and get a snack? When does it stop? I mean, if you haven't stopped by 2 when do you stop? Do you have more than one child doing this? I was picturing myself (in another life where I have a thick braid that goes below my waist, hiking shoes and faded black socks, a woven hemp bracelet around my wrist and purple tunic over olive combat pants) and there were 2 or 3 kids in the scenario clambering for something to drink. Their grimy hands pawing all over me, jumping up and down off my lap in constant succession.

I got out of that reverie in a hurry.

Some books

Most of you know I read. Like a lot. Like if I don't have a book I may as well not be breathing. It is that dramatic. So let me tell you a little about what I have read lately.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

I read this one for the book club at church. At first I was way apprehensive about this book given the title and who chose it. But I was more than pleasantly surprised. In fact it was an amazingly well written book with a great story and fantastic characters. It is written in the form of several people writing letters back and forth to each other. Each letter had such a different voice that I could immediately picture who the letter-writer was and the characters began to form in my mind. All in all I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone.

Then there was Angels and Demons, Dan Brown

I have heard how good this book was add was expecting quite a page turner. All I can say is what a let down. I read The DaVinci Code and it was meh. This one was more of the same. More meh. Granted it was written first, but I can't say I will read anymore Dan Brown novels anytime soon. But if you loved loved loved DaVinci Code, you will love this.

I finally had to order Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come. No one had it in any of my travels and we were at a few bookstores looking for the "Warriors" series, by Erin Hunter for Carter. Even though the Ladies and of the Club reviewed it June 11, I will be catching up soon.So I am looking forward to that. I also have Bleak House, Charles Dickens waiting in the wings as my summer classic.

So what have you read?

Let me catch my breath

Finally! A minute to write. We got off the plane at 10PM Sunday and Monday at 8 AM I got started on my new adventure in life. I started babysitting 2 little boys from 8-6 2 or 3 days a week. And since day care rates are pretty on par with most of the East coast up here, I am saving money for airplane tickets. Its a good thing these boys (ages 3 and 1) are nothing like my own (read calm, quiet, easy to keep track of) or it would never work. But as it is still 2 extra mouths to feed I am busy.

It is weird, though. I seem to have gotten more done on the days they were here this week than the days they aren't. I keep a better schedule with the extra boys here because I know I am getting paid. We are doing fun things (except for the day that Champ at the homemade play dough and had to be taken outside every hour to pee all the salt he ate out of his system) and I have fun things planned for next week too.

But I finally have a minute to get some pictures of our trip up.

Me and Naomi.

The crew from Perry gear up for the Be-Awesome-est slip in slide in the world!

Liz, Steph and Lanae at lunch in Sharon's back yard.

Livs and Marin loved being together again

and wore princess outfits on the swings.

Ice cream in the avenues at the store Ben nicknamed the Oompa Loompa store. Don't ask why.

Ben cooked us some delicious Dinosaur Bar B Q. The grill master!!

Me enjoying 5 Guys Burgers and Fries or as Ethan and Carter called it 5 Slimes Boogers and Flies. Trust me, a compliment coming from an 8 and almost 12 year old.

Olivia loving her time with Nonna.


Olivia squeezes Aunt Courtney

Baby Brooke got lots of attention. The boys had her in stitches playing Peek a Boo. When we Courtney showed us how Brooke can roll over, Olivia spread out her own blanket and laid on it and proceeded to show us how she could roll over just like Brooke.

Carter was such a good baby holder. Look at those cousins!

The Smith girl cousins

Olivia followed Aunt Katie around and helped her do dishes every night. While the boys pestered Ben with stories of the Swine Flu and saving lives from the hospital.

Ethan and M were great buddies this trip. In fact all of the cousins played so well together and mixed it up with everyone.

Please pay no attention to the giant booger coming out of Twin P's nose. Ok pay attention, it was super gross.

Fearless Olivia could swim the entire width of the pool by the end of the week with no floaties, just the lure of the half collapsed pink noodle as her prize.

T and Ethan warming up after a not so hot day at the pool.

M P and Carter are always a ham for the camera.

Grandma Moncur's swimming pool is always full of kids when the cousins are around

Olivia tries to get Aslan to move. He wasn't listening so well with 2 of his harem in heat. Look for puppies at Yellowstone Mastiff this August!

I love this guy. This is Aslan, who actually came from an Alaska kennel. His father is the only son of the current European Mastiff champ in the United States. He is not even a year old and weighs like 190. He won't stop growing until he reaches age 3.

Olivia reminds me so much of cousin M. They are fearless, love the dogs and kitties, and are obsessed with horses. Only M has her own and Olivia is here feeding them.

This is Twin B and the baby cow that needed bottle fed this year.

The Walk for Bridger was a huge success! Lovell really outdid itself and continues to show support for our little Bridger and his upcoming Bone Marrow Transplant. All the tests are still coming in as a green light to go forward. There is a lot to prepare for, and still a lot to worry about but thanks to everyone in Lovell, Dallas, and Edwards, CO a chunk of the financial worries are taken care of. LOVE YOU!!!

M and Carter have been best buds since birth. carter is older by 7 weeks and we have pictures of him at 9 months playing peek a boo with his younger cousin and making her laugh so hard. These two walked the 3 miles for Bridger and talked the whole way. Whenever Carter wasn't playing DS with boys, he was holed up somewhere with M in deep discussion over important pre-teen topics.

And the main event of the trip was Ethan's baptism. Our church baptizes by immersion at age 8. It was important to Ethan to do this with all of his cousins there to celebrate the day with him. So we asked for permission to do this ordinance in Lovell. Everyone but Bridger and his Mom and Dad were there as well as my mom and brother Jared came up from UT. Thank you all so much for travelling, rearranging schedules, and making such an effort to share this day with Ethan. He was thrilled beyond words. And when you ask him what his favorite part about the trip was, he answers, "My baptism day."

Ethan was baptized by his dad. Here they are dressed in white, in preparation for the ordinance that is about to happen. No I am not pregnant, just fat.

Twins A and A were baptized last year. They are Ethan's best buddies. He has been talking about his own baptism and how these two girls would be at his since their event last year.

We all sang Happy Birthday to Ethan since ours was a small affair in Alaska. No birthday is complete without all the cousins chanting CHA CHA CHA Hi-YA at the end of the birthday song.

Rub a dub dub 5 kids in a tub. Olivia, Marin, G, Twins P and B all needed a bath at least once a day. And often all together.

Mitch made a super cool rocket launcher out of PVC and a couple o fvalves and an air compressor. All the kids made rockets out of construction paper and tape and man did they fly. An entire Sunday afternoon was filled with this activity.

The amazing 19. It is a good thing CaMee lives here too and has another house to spill over into. It is nothing short of chaos to have this group around.

Now this is the group to look out for. After 6 years of NO GIRL BABIES Olivia leads the pack of the next group of 5 girls. The littlest is Kate, who is only 3 months so she is inside where it was safe. One evening I found all 4 of these little girls in the chicken coop without any shoes on. When I asked Olivia how they got the gates open, she told me their partners Twins P and B helped them. Of course they did. Those 2 boys are the original mischief makers.

All the girls made flip flops for the 4th of July. Aren't they cute!

Carter and P goofing for the camera.

Ah yes, here are Twins P and B. This is where Ethan was the King. He was dubbed this by hte boys who told him that was what he was. This was after a bath of all 3 boys covered in grass and P and B picked all the grass off Ethan's back for him. The boys followed him around and did everything Ethan asked most of the week too.

Carter, are you playing with the camera?

The kids with Great Grandma and Grandpa McNiven.

Ah yes. JaDee's cousin Don took JaDee to Yellowstone in his plane one morning. Don is a flight instructor and a very good pilot. We met them at the airport and Don was awesome enough to give us all rides in this little thing. Even Olivia!

And even me. Don even let me "fly" once we were up and away. It was pretty cool.

Ah yes, the chickens.

Livs and Grandma collecting eggs.

Olivia washed all 14 eggs by herself that morning and didn't break a single one. She is such a good helper.

There you have it. Our Be-Awesome trip to the lower 48. Loved every minute. Shopped at J. Crew with my sis, ate yummy cupcakes at this place (I then spent a whole afternoon trying recipes to crack the cup cake mystery for my own sweet tooth back in Alaska. I think I got it all figured out now).

Love you all and I am working on getting to WY for Thanksgiving! Cross your fingers and maybe Bridger will even be there too!

Home

We made it. 17 days of fun in UT and WY. We have like a million pictures and a million stories and million laughs.

But while we were gone Champ got in on some action. Our good friend Sarah house/dog sat for us and she got engaged while she was here!! Check out this link for whole story. It's a cute one. And we are so happy for Sarah and Jed.

A place for everything

Caution: this is long and a little something I have been mulling over in my mind for about 2 years and has just now been regurgitated into words

Families have places. And for a long time I did not know what my place was in my husbands family. It is a family of 6 kids. All very talented, confidant, determined people. At first I was especially intimidated and even jealous of JaDee's younger sister, CaMee. We were both getting married the same year. We had (have) very similar tastes in clothes, houses, style etc and I perceived a sense of competition between us. Plus I was taking the brother who helped her do everything from run the 400 in track to build her projects as an interior decorator in college. I wrote her a letter those first months we were both newlyweds, and explained my need to love her and for her to forgive me. We have always had a connection since then. Sharing children, friends, ideas and spiritual growth.


That hurdle crossed, I then had to adjust from being the oldest, and a daughter at that, of my own family to becoming the first daughter in law of a new one. A family that is tight with each other and has 3 girls to boot. This time I was jealous of the dynamics between the girls. They almost spoke in code with each other and their mother. A code I didn't know. About the people of their small town, the very close extended family that includes relatives most people only see on genealogy charts, and events that happened long before I ever came on the scene. I felt left out. It was a lonely feeling. But it was one I inflicted on myself for no one ever meant for me to feel that way.

I got over it. It was not easy and I hate to say that I hurt more than just myself along the way. I said things I shouldn't have in my selfish anguish.

Two things helped me get over feeling and understand the bond that these women share with each other. The first was the marriage of my own sister. Courtney is 8 years younger than me. I got married when she was 12 and had Carter when she was 13. For her entire teenage years I was an old married lady. To further the gap in our growing up experiences my parents got divorced when I was 23 and she was 15. Thus my youngest siblings were raised by a single mother, whereas I had a 2 parent household. While I am privy to a lot of what my mother went through (often more than I ever asked to know) I really never knew what Courtney's experience as a child of divorced parents was like during that time.

So when she married at 19 to her wonderful Blake, we started sharing life again. I got to be an older sister planning her wedding reception, talking about her college experience as she too went into secondary education, dealing with in-laws, and in turn, dealing with our mother as an adult child, and bossing our brothers around as only sisters can. We started forging a bond that is unique only to sisters. A closeness of the heart that ties us together. It is more than just shopping together, (although we had a great time at the Gateway this week and will not be telling our husbands exactly how much was spent. We will just casually start wearing amazing new clothes that will dazzle them into forgetting about everything but the beautiful women they married and they will be so blinded by said beauty that they will not even think to ask the price of such beauty).

The last few years we were in Utah, Courtney was 25 minutes from me. She joined me on journey's with my kids (which I fear contributed to her 5 year wait to have Brooke). We analyzed everything from our parents divorce to the pros and cons of ballet flats as the new trend in shoes. I was her diplomat when both our parents came to her graduation from USU and she watched all 3 of my children while JaDee and I escaped for a weekend. We can ask each other anything and know there is always someone in the corner for us.

The second thing that helped me understand the bond of my sisters in law and more importantly the bond my mother in law has with her 3 daughters was the birth of my own daughter. It was different having a girl after 2 sons. I can't justly express my ponderings over this event but I knew that what I had gone through to bring her into the world was something that she too had been divinely called of God to do. I was passing on a lineage that is as old as the story of Eve to her. Being female is a divine calling. Women have gifts bestowed on them to be compassionate, loving, understanding, perceptive, caring, loving, creative and nurturing. It is a blessing to me to have Olivia to share these gifts with and to guide her as she too gains a testimony of what it means to be a Daughter of God.

My mother in law must have felt this way about the birth of each of her girls. I now understand how and why they can communicate in code, ask each other first for everything, do everything for everyone when we are all together, and have their rituals and traditions amongst themselves and pass this all on to their own daughters.

I understand.

I honor it.

I do not feel left out because I have my own.

And I know that I do have a place here. It is different from my place in my original family and different from my family that I have with my husband and children. I feel a camaraderie with my mother in law and sisters in law; enough so that I can call them all my sisters. Because sister-in law is too impersonal to refer to the things we have come to love about each other. To general a term to imply the situations all of us have prayed about, fasted about, cried about and worked to accomplish together.

But at the same time "sister" is also a term I use for my own blood relation, as the red heads use for theirs, that means something different.

On a trip...

I have a hard time keeping track of things on a trip.  Things that I should be able to remember.  Times that by the 3 kids I am also in charge of keeping track of (and the contents of each of their suitcases) and I am a complete nut case.

So here you have the List of Things I Can't Keep Track of on a Trip. (Disclaimer: The following list may or may not also be identical to the list titled Things I Lose at Home).

1. my keys.  I locked them and the spare in my car at church on Sunday.  Called the locksmith, one of whom I am on a first name basis with in Brigham City. Because after living their for 8.5 years he has found me in similar predicaments at the grocery store and the post office and the gas station.

2. my deodorant.  Don't worry, after a mad, half naked scramble every morning I find it and avoid stinking.

3. meals. What? we have to eat?  After retrieving my keys we stopped at Maverick for a healthy lunch of pizza rolls and hot dogs because I forgot to pack a lunch for our ride back to Salt Lake.  So I declared an "ox in the mire" situation and stopped to buy lunch.  And in true breaking the Sabbath fashion the Slushee machine EXPLODED all over me and Olivia.  We were splattered with Watermelon slushee from head to toe.

4. Time.  We tend to be a little late to things here.  

5. Shoes.  Often found with the deodorant.

6. Hairbrush.  Sorry Ben.  I have been using yours and stealing your hairspray after mine leaked from Anchorage to here.

One liners

We are in Utah.  It smells like flowers here instead of pine trees and damp leaves, or what I refer to as "that camping smell." My brother Ben and his fiancee Katie are the most gracious hosts. I highly recommend staying with them when you  are in Salt Lake.  Call me for their number :)

But here I am late one night suffering not from jet lag but from insomnia after pee-ing.  Curse-ED bladder-after-three-children!  Anyway, I got to thinking about the movie Shrek.  It is one of my all time favorite movies to quote and my kids will tell you I do it often; in fact adding many of them to my own vocabulary and thus becoming catch phrases in our family's lingo.

Some of my favorites include:

You're fast on your way to a smacked bottom!

For the love of Pete!

And "Really really."  

As in "Mom are we in Utah?" (from Olivia). Me, "Yes."  Olivia, "Really?"  Me, "Really really." It is amazing how often I say that one.

But we have added a new one.  This one from Bolt.  You know, the movie that inspired my kids to give up their compromise to leave the cats with new families when we moved to Alaska, thus leading to my dragging 2 outdoor cats across the continent and scooping litter in a hotel room for 7 weeks.

Anywho, Rhino is by far our favorite. Although Mittens sarcasm is something to be admired and in fact, honored as a skill I must study.  If you are not familiar with the movie you do need run and rent it RIGHT NOW! Rhino says the following about Bolt's super-bark:

That was awesome!

It was beyond awesome!

It was BE-awesome!

Thus our family's new word is "Beyawesome!" 

ps- I am on a Mac and have no idea how to insert images on this and as I mentioned earlier I am up in the middle of the night and don't think Dr. Ben, (who has to work this morning at 6 saving lives) would appreciate me going downstairs and waking him up to ask how to do it.  So Google "Rhino from Bolt images" on your own and insert them in your mind.

A Bridger Update

Wow! Over Memorial Day weekend the Walk for Bridger was held in Dallas. There were over 100 people there. JanaLee, Blake and Bridger in his mask, were all in attendance. JanaLee told me that there was such a sweet, loving Spirit felt there. She felt the love and prayers of everyone and for the first time in a long time relaxed in the moment.

Bridger kept asking why all these people were here and why were they saying hi to him. JanaLee told them that all these people loved him and wanted to help him get better. When Blake stood up to say a few words of thanks to everyone and start the walk, Bridger got right up there, took of his mask and yelled, "Thanks for coming!"

And thanks to all of you who donated here. This little blog was able to send over $200 to Bridger. People who didn't even know Bridger sent donations. Your love is felt, and your goodness is noted in heaven. We love you all!

The Lovell WY walk for Bridger will be June 13 at 7 AM. All you Lovellites and Burlington-ites better get down there! Pass the word. And call CaMee to find out where we meet.

We'll see you there!