Calgon Take me away

I remember watching this commercial as a kid. Too bad it is not nearly as cool now as I thought it was back then, but I always sympathized with the mother here. It must have been my brothers that acted like this. I was an angel. And now as a mother I find myself chanting Calgon, take me away!" more days than not.

Like today for example. I braved the Kohls of Anchorage grand opening with my friend Julie and her little girl. It was worse than any Black Friday experience I have ever been to (bear in mind I never go shopping on Black Friday for this very reason). After 90 minutes in this store, that while a great addition to most municipalities in not exactly what I would call a shopping Mecca, I was ready to scream. I call this my "Saturday at Wal-Mart," syndrome. You know the feeling. The one where you feel your skin start to crawl and you can hardly handle the stupidity of the average person (which I am clearly not).

This was after yesterday's Costco experience. I loved Costco in Utah. The one in Ogden is often virtually deserted on any given weekday except the first day of the new coupon circular. Then it is worse than a Wal-Mart on Saturday. I could easily complete my list without cause for hyperventilation.

Not so here.

My relationship with Costo was ruined the day I tried to get tires. In Anchorage it is a fight for a parking spot every day. The samples, where once a joy, have now become a nuisance as people queue up for a little taste and thus blocking my milk/eggs/goldfish crackers/cereal. I want to tell them all that these are optional and they are not required to stand in line for them! The worst is when they cut me off with the mammoth sized carts we all push that weigh roughly the size of a freight train. And after entertaining Olivia in one of the always open, yet always full checkout lines, we wait again for our receipt to get checked as passage out of the store. It makes me tired.

So I am trying to figure out what the deal is with Kohls, Costco, and alas, Target(also new here as of October). I am thinking it has something to do with my taking these stores for granted and as part of my normal life where they are still a novelty here. Except for Costco. It has been in Alaska longer than Utah. So I think that is truly a necessity that people literally fly in to stock up on any given day and to date this has been the only option for one stop shopping.

Then the real reason for my Calgon need: my boys. They make more noises, require more food, have more homework that is really mom-work, than I can handle. Can't these kids just raise themselves? And why do they think that throwing a pillow to get a helium balloon (thank you Kohl's grand opening) down from the vaulted ceiling in the living room is a good idea? This is after the soccer ball was banned and my new clock (Target) swung perilously from its hook.

I am so happy they are getting along, but can't they do it a little quieter?

So I bundled them up and sent them to the trees between our yard and the neighbors to wear some of this energy out. Because we are at 14 hours of daylight and at 9 PM, which is bedtime although it is still light outside at Chez Moncur, they had better be asleep.